January 20, 2009

Dream...

I had a dream last night. It may have been that I ate supper too late or something but I just wanted to throw this out there if anyone wants to take a stab at interpreting it...

I dreamed that we were hiding in an apartment like we were Jews in Nazi Germany.... My children were little. They even looked Jewish... We were talking and then the children hushed me and pointed to the door... I opened the door to the hallway and there under the door was some sort of listening device indicating that we were being spied on. I don't know what we were talking about but obviously it was something that would incriminate us. I told the children to write me notes instead of talking... Then Keith appeared on the balcony, having climbed up to avoid detection. He wanted me to come out and see something (away from prying eyes and ears). There were some people on the next balcony trying to get us to invest in some water product... It was obvoius that water was scarce. It flavored the water to make it taste like lemonaide (weird I know). I asked if it purified the water, and they said "no, just disguises the taste". I said, "no, I don't want anything to do with that". Then Keith handed me a box that had been secretly given to him. It looked like a box of matches but I thought- "I bet its a secret radio, so we can listen to reports".... but when I opened it up, out popped a Jewish menorah blazing away. We were thrilled and said, "Praise Jesus" which made the people around us ask, "Why are you praising Jesus? I thought you were Jews?" We just smiled and I woke up. Weird huh?

December 12, 2008

Bloglessness

Hey all... I have not been a faithful blogger of late. I apologize. But I don't promise that this one will be worth the wait either. I tend to blog whenever I have news, or have come through something and have some sort of revelation that I wish to share. Well, I have neither at the moment nor have I for quite some time... hence my bloglessness....

Bloglessness... hmmm... I like that....
I think I'll send that one in to Webster and see what they think. :^)

Well, the only news of sorts that I have is that I am working now, after years of being a stay-at-home mom. Its only part time, three days a week, but I love it! I'm working at Hosanna First Assembly, in the bookkeeping department, helping Madeleine Felps, the best person in the world to work for. Everyone should work for Madeleine if they get a chance... On second thought... you can forget that or else I'd have to quit my job... and that's not happening anytime soon, so sorry...just dream on! :). But its great to work in a Christian environment with people I truly love. I realize that thats not the norm for most people and I am extremely thankful. But it has made what time I have, more elusive. So... bloglessness.

Also, I am going through something I don't quite understand... Usually I blog when having come out on the other side of it, when I have revelation that I think people can relate to, or that I think might encourage someone. Or I blog for people who care for me and want to know where I've been. I tend to think no one wants to hear where I currently am when I don't know myself. So here's more excuses for bloglessness because I'm smack dab in the middle of something that I don't think I can quite express yet. I haven't gotten to the other end of it and have no words of wisdom, no victory yet to share... Yet I blog to you today not in reflection of the storm, but in the midst of it.

Suffice it to say, I've been hit with some difficult stuff, of similar nature, but from different directions, all in a short period of time. That usually indicates to me that something is up. I wonder- is this the devil? Is it God? Is it just me? I think the answer to that is- yes. It is all of the above. Now, the enemy being the opportunist that he is assaults me and stirs the pot regularly. My flesh has at times risen up in defense or sunk low in despair. But my God, always in control, never wastes anything. So I'm not sure what this is but I do believe that God is using this to shine a light into my heart and to reveal things still not healed, still not free... It just seems to be all at once. Every time I turn around- bam, there the pain is again- but from a totally different source.

And this pain, long ignored... can be ignored no more...

I've lived long enough to recognize that we humans, almost every time, will choose to live with pain rather than to face and deal with it's source.

Years ago I had two telling dreams that lately have come back to my mind.

In the first dream- I discovered a secret room in my house. I was so excited. It had been there all along and I hadn't known it. I found that it was full of valuable things of the type that I personally enjoy- beautiful antique furniture, rugs, vintage collectables, paintings. But as I gazed around this room of treasures in delight, I then was shocked to discover, lying on the bed was an Egyptian mummy in a casket. I was horrified. As a child, I'd read how when explorers discovered the tombs of the ancient Pharoahs, those who discovered the treasure were then cursed in some way for the rest of their life. Several died tragic deaths soon after. In my dream, I became afraid. The room that had previously seemed like a blessing now seemed to be a curse. I remember thinking "I don't want to deal with the mummy... It is too creepy. Plus it will be too heavy for me...". So I quickly backed out of the room, boarded it up and lived in my house like before, with an unclaimed treasure, and a fear, right behind the walls.

Later I had another dream exactly like it. A secret room discovered in my house. I was again delighted to find another treasure trove of antiques. But like before, something else was in the room. This time, instead of a mummy, there was a cage of rats. I remember thinking that I did not want to have to remove them. They were dirty and they frightened me. I thought, "If I leave them there and close the room up, they'll just die and I won't have to deal with removing them"... but I remember thinking- "yes, but then they will stink up the entire house".. But sadly I made the same decision to leave the treasure... and the rats, behind the wall. I closed them up and lived in my house as before. Knowing that behind my wall, was treasure... but also knowing that I'd have to deal with the rats to claim it.

I guess I reasoned both times, that the treasure wasn't worth the fear of dealing with the pain. Now I'm discovering, I'm not so sure.

I remember before I had my hysterectomy, I lived in constant pain for years in order to not face the pain of surgery. It's really amazing what you will learn to live with in order to avoid what it will take to "fix" that pain. For a long while, I coped pretty well. But my pain would not go away. It just got worse. It finally got so bad that I couldn't live with it anymore. I couldn't ignore it anymore. I couldn't adjust my limited life around it anymore. It had finally taken over to the point that my entire life's focus had become dealing with the pain. I finally had to get desperate and pain-ridden enough to make a decision, once and for all, to rid myself of the source of my pain. And that required surgery. But after my surgery, in a moment, the source of my pain was gone. Yes I had to endure more pain from the surgery. But it was pain with purpose. A clean wound that would heal during my season of recovery. But in the end, the source of my pain was gone. And I haven't hurt anymore since...

Had the pain not gotten so bad... I'd have not pursued surgery... I'd not have said- enough is enough. I want to be whole!

As much as we all hate pain... if we did not have it, we'd not know when there is a problem. It draws our attention to whatever is limiting and hindering our health, our life, our purpose. I want to be pain free... but not just for me. The devil probably would have sought to take us out years ago if he didn't think that our remaining in pain on this earth would affect those around us and take them down with us. I want to be painfree for lots of reasons, but not just for my own comfort. I want to fulfill His purpose in creating me to live on this planet at this chosen time. But most important, I don't want to negatively affect the purpose and fruitfulness of the following generations by not fulfilling my appointed purpose and not being whole enough to help them with theirs...

So that folks is where I am. I have a pain. It is familiar to me. I've learned to live around it. I've coped with it most of my life. But recently, I have been unable to ignore it. Situations have caused it to hurt worse. And I am coming to the conclusion that I don't think I want to live with this pain anymore. I want to be whole and free and fruitful. Should I chain myself to the prayer closet until God moves? I haven't gotten that desperate yet. But I am fast approaching it...

Hence my bloglessness of late...

But alas! I am blogless no more! :^)

God bless! Kayla

November 5, 2008

All-knowing God

Last night as the results of the election were unmistakeable, I asked the Lord, "why?". It really looked like our prayers had been for nothing. Then. I was reminded of the fact that it looked to the world like evil had triumphed when Jesus was crucified... I'm sure there was revelry in hell that day... but BOY was the devil in for a surprise! Jesus rose from the grave and because of His death, He was able to take the keys of death away from the enemy. Now he's a defeated foe destined for the lake of fire. That wouldn't have happened without the "defeat" of the cross. God's ways are higher and His wisdom deeper. He sees the whole picture, layer upon layer.... we see only in part. He has a plan and a divine purpose. He knows best. He can be trusted. He raises one up and brings another down... but all for eternity's purpose. Just look at the history of Israel.


Still, this is a wakeup call for the church in America. The lines have been drawn. But this may be the church's finest hour. "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more" As the Body of Christ we have to be proactive and involved. We have to stand against evil and not hope somebody else will do it. There is nobody else. That's our job. Now perhaps this will cause us to finally realize that. Let us arise Church and trust our God and be the salt and light He intended us to be. Let's not despair. Lets pray for our leaders as God commanded!... God is still on His throne and we are still His children. That hasn't changed.... Lets now arise, take our place and do our job.

The Lord led me to this scripture last night...Its long but well worth the read... God bless. Kayla

Psalm 37
1 Don't worry about the wicked
or envy those who do wrong.
2 For like grass, they soon fade away.
Like spring flowers, they soon wither.
3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart's desires.
5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
6 He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
Don't worry about evil people who prosper
or fret about their wicked schemes. 8 Stop being angry!
Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—
it only leads to harm.
9 For the wicked will be destroyed,
but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.
10 Soon the wicked will disappear.
Though you look for them, they will be gone.
11 The lowly will possess the land
and will live in peace and prosperity.
12 The wicked plot against the godly;
they snarl at them in defiance.
13 But the Lord just laughs,
for he sees their day of judgment coming.
14 The wicked draw their swords
and string their bows
to kill the poor and the oppressed,
to slaughter those who do right.
15 But their swords will stab their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.
16 It is better to be godly and have little
than to be evil and rich.
17 For the strength of the wicked will be shattered,
but the Lord takes care of the godly.
18 Day by day the Lord takes care of the innocent,
and they will receive an inheritance that lasts forever.
19 They will not be disgraced in hard times;
even in famine they will have more than enough.
20 But the wicked will die.
The Lord's enemies are like flowers in a field—
they will disappear like smoke.
21 The wicked borrow and never repay,
but the godly are generous givers.
22 Those the Lord blesses will possess the land,
but those he curses will die.
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
25 Once I was young, and now I am old.
Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned
or their children begging for bread.
26 The godly always give generous loans to others,
and their children are a blessing.
27 Turn from evil and do good,
and you will live in the land forever.
28 For the Lord loves justice,
and he will never abandon the godly. He will keep them safe forever,
but the children of the wicked will die.
29 The godly will possess the land
and will live there forever.
30 The godly offer good counsel;
they teach right from wrong.
31 They have made God's law their own,
so they will never slip from his path.
32 The wicked wait in ambush for the godly,
looking for an excuse to kill them.
33 But the Lord will not let the wicked succeed
or let the godly be condemned when they are put on trial.
34 Put your hope in the Lord.
Travel steadily along his path.
He will honor you by giving you the land.
You will see the wicked destroyed.
35 I have seen wicked and ruthless people
flourishing like a tree in its native soil.
36 But when I looked again, they were gone!
Though I searched for them, I could not find them!
37 Look at those who are honest and good,
for a wonderful future awaits those who love peace.
38 But the rebellious will be destroyed;
they have no future.
39 The Lord rescues the godly;
he is their fortress in times of trouble.
40 The Lord helps them,
rescuing them from the wicked.
He saves them,
and they find shelter in him

November 1, 2008

Help us God!

I am watching The Call live in California right now. I am deeply moved. They are crying out "Help us God! Save the babies. Save the children. God help! God help!" They are praying for America. Here is the prayer they have been praying for four years....

"Jesus I plead Your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation. God end abortion and send revival to America".

May this become the cry of the Church in America until the Lord answers that prayer. Please friends. Pray and vote. God is Sovereign... but He doesn't violate our will. Israel asked for a king and it wasn't God's desire for them to have one.... but despite His warnings of what would happen if they got what they asked for, they persisted, and He allowed them to have their heart's desire.

In my naivety, I assumed Christians knew the issues and where the candidates stand on the issues. I assumed that Christians would vote. I have been shocked at how many Christians are saying they are not voting because they don't like either candidate. Brothers and sisters, this is not about personality, it is not about the economy, it is not about the war. It is about LIFE! The next President has the authority to appoint Supreme Court judges. This more than anything else will determine the fate of abortion in America. Regardless of personality or color, how can we as Christians even consider a candidate who would not only call a living baby a "choice", but who would vote three times against the ban on late-term abortion. This is infanticide. Where late term babies are killed AFTER they are born alive, then discarded like garbage with the soiled linens in the hospital trash. There is a spirit of deception and confusion over the CHURCH to not see the horror of this. Where is the Church's outrage? Please pray for the spirit of deception to be lifted off of the Church and for God to loose "light and truth" over the Body of Christ in America so that the Church's eyes would be opened and that the fog of confusion would be dispelled with God's light.

God promises that "If my people, (that's us Church) who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

Even if we have never had an abortion or supported it, may we repent before God for our nation. God is righteous and sovereign. He is in control This is not a time to be afraid, but a time to war. Things in heaven have to move before things on this earth will move. So often we get it backwards. What is bound in heaven will be bound on earth. What is loosed in heaven will be loosed on earth. Let us storm heaven Church. We have His ear. He moves at the sound of our voice. He said that "the prayers of a righteous man availeth much". You may not feel righteous, but if you are a blood bought child of God, the Bible declares that "you are the righteousness of God in Christ." So fellow saint, let us cry out to our Father to have mercy on us and this nation and let us go out on Tuesday and be counted as the Church of Jesus Christ in America. May God's church arise on November 4th. God bless you all.

September 15, 2008

Gustav Lessons


Stacey Neely sent me this. All of my fellow Gustav survivors will recognize and attest to the truths of this... I can laugh at this now... on my laptop...by my lamp... with my AC......ahhh!!! Thank you Lord! :^)


*No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.

*Vienna sausages only appear on the food pyramid during hurricane season.

*Lovebugs do NOT disappear in 90 mph wind.

*Disasters can cancel one LSU Football game, but there will be even more casualties if we have to cancel two.

*Cats (and dogs) are even more irritating without power.

*Most popular text message after Sept. 1: Do u hve pwr?

*Coffee, Spaghetti, biscuits and frozen pizza can be made on a grill. (Yep- gives pizza a lovely smoky flavor!)

*Crickets and cicadas can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 30 generators!

*He who has the biggest generator wins!

August 25, 2008

Lucca

Lucca and Zeke
Lucca "bringer of life"

Well, I've gone and done it.... I got a new dog. I said I would wait... I truly intended to... but I just couldn't help it...
Long story short- Last Saturday, Hannah and I were out shopping. She begged me to stop in Petland (or Petco, Petsmart... one of those). I reluctantly let her drag me in. We checked out all of the various pets and then were leaving when a young couple came in with the biggest, fluffliest, prettiest puppy I'd ever seen. I had to take a closer look... I should have known better... I found out that the puppy was a 6 month old female Akita. After talking to the couple a bit further I was informed that because of their apartment lease, they couldn't keep this beautiful creature. How much were they selling her for, (I had to ask).... She was free.... What was her name (I had to ask), it was Lucca. For some oddball reason I had intended on naming my next female dog LuLu. That did it. Lucca, LuLu... It seemed like a divine set-up. I tried to call Keith, he was working in the yard so I couldn't reach him... I hesitated for a moment then I made a monumental impulsive decision (unusual for me). I brought Lucca home with me, without Keith's knowledge. It hit me on the way home that we were leaving on vacation the following week. What was I thinking! When I got home I left Hannah and Lucca in the car to go assess how unhappy Keith was going to be. Then I had a stroke of genius. I approached him with a, "Honey, please don't kill me, " to which he exclaimed, 'What'd you do, wreck the car?" I happily informed him (to his relief), no I hadn't wrecked the car... but I HAD brought home a dog. I think he was so relieved about the car that he had mercy on me.
Since then we've had time to be glad about my impulsive decision. Lucca is the sweetest little (big) girl. She's obedient, she doesn't chew. She's housebroken.. (except for getting excited when she first sees you and wetting the floor... we're working on that one)... But she is a blessing. And she's beautiful... and she's BIG! Ya'll know how I LOVE big dogs. The bigger the better in my book. The children have been over the moon about Lucca. It's helped ease their pain over Zoe. (Although she will NEVER be replaced!)
So there you have it. The story of our newest family member. Also we looked up the name Lucca online and found out that it is Italian for "Bringer of Life". We'll take that. After the difficult season we've had, and with our moving into this new season, could this be a physical sign of a spiritual truth? That God is bringing us out of the old, comfort-zones and into something new and unexpected.... with a... suddenly!
And Zeke loves her too. Which is fortunate because Nutty is MIA. Lucca came just in time! God's time- not mine (or Keith's :^).


God bless. Kayla

August 2, 2008

Zeke's gone Nutty!


Since Zoe's sad departure from this life this past Monday, Zeke has seemed lost and lonely. Without Zoe at his side, he hasn't bothered getting up to greet us all by himself at the door when we return. He hasn't been as playful or happy. The day after Zoe's death, I was trying to think of something that would cheer him up. While shopping at Target I ventured into the pet aisle and I found my answer... I knew Zeke had to have him. He cost more than the dog toys I usually get, but this one was made by the American Kennel Club so I hoped it had to be strong (we'll find out!). This new answer to Zeke's lonely problem came home with us and Zeke was immediately smitten. We named him Nutty. Of course Nutty the squirrel in no way replaces Zeke's best friend Zoe, but it has given him and us a little joy in our lives this week... Nutty squeaks. Zeke doesn't quite know what to make of that. He squeezes Nutty's tail between his teeth and seems surprised that Nutty cries out. At first this seemed to confuse Zeke. It's hilarious because he starts whining when Nutty squeaks... Like he's worried about him yet he can't help crushing him between his teeth! Now Zeke carries Nutty everywhere. He even insisted on taking him outside with him the other day. I was worried that Nutty would end up in the yard as an unrecognizable bit of mud covered fur like his other former "friends". But when Zeke was done with his business outside, he came scratching on the back door, proudly carrying Nutty in his mouth. He brings him in the chair with him and sits with him between his paws. Yesterday he came into my room looking anxious... He looked around the room, out the back door, in my closet, whining.... It broke my heart. "Are you looking for Zoe?" I asked. He heard Zoe's name and perked up... but then... he stumbled on Nutty... Then his tail started wagging... and he was frisky and happy again. So for now, Nutty is easing some of Zeke's pain... And Zeke's hilarious 'relationship' with Nutty is easing some of ours. And today when I returned home, there was Zeke, all by himself, dancing at the door to greet me! Yay! We're making progress. Here's a photo of Zeke and his new pal- Nutty.

God bless. Kayla