A Love Story

Our first official date

I actually heard Keith's voice before I ever saw him. I was nine years old and my family had just moved to Ruston, Louisiana and we were visiting area churches. That particular Sunday landed us at Emmanuel Baptist Church on Farmerville Highway. I had already started fourth grade at Hillcrest Elementary and I didn’t see any of my new friends there so I was suitably unimpressed. But during a rousing rendition of 'How Great Thou Art' a melodic, distinctly masculine voice from the pew behind me reached my ears. I nonchalantly turned my head and in my peripherals I beheld the most beautiful sight my nine year old eyes had ever seen. He was tall, he was tan with dark tousled hair, and he was extremely handsome. And I was immediately and soundly smitten. But he was a sophisticated THIRTEEN year old in the eighth grade, much too old to take notice of a bespectacled, skinny, brace face in grade school. 

Well my parents did eventually join Emmanuel and I didn’t protest a bit. Our parents even became close friends much to my delight. And better yet, my cousin became his best friend which put him at our house on a regular basis. When my cousin allowed it, they let me tag along after Sunday night church for pizza. Thankfully Keith wasn't unkind. He included me. He teased me. He gave me a nickname- Bug. That’s all he ever called me. I absolutely loved it. I wrote his name on the back of my school notebooks and then drew pictures over them. But I knew what was underneath. And I never quit hoping. Every bit of attention paid, every perceived flirtation, all my tender young hopes of romance were wistfully penned in my diary. My dream of one day marrying Keith Johnson never wavered. 

Well, the years passed and he joined the Navy when he was nineteen. Before he left, he hugged me and called me my name, not Bug. I wondered if he was finally seeing me as a woman (after all I WAS sixteen years old now). But life took us in opposite directions. I had high school to complete and the Navy took him far away so what might have begun at that time was delayed. He got into relationships. I got into relationships. He was stationed in Florida and then South Carolina and I was stuck in Louisiana. But one Christmas he came home on leave and I finally caught his eye. And although I had a boyfriend, we started writing each other letters. He called me one day when I wasn’t home and although I wanted to, because I was in a relationship, I never called him back. Then on the very day I broke up with my boyfriend, I finally returned his call. And we talked. And we talked. And we talked some more.  We talked so often and so long that Keith eventually had to sell his truck to pay his phone bill. My dad knew Keith and his family and he knew he was a catch. At that point in my troubled young life I'd made enough wrong choices that my dad was nervous I might miss this golden opportunity (He needn't have worried). He viewed paying our enormous phone bill as an investment in my future and he did it without TOO much grumbling ;). For four months we talked every day for hours on end. I was a senior in high school and many a night I reluctantly hung up the phone an hour before my alarm was set to go off. Keith often showed up to work red eyed after talking to me all night long. Then oh happy day- he finally came home on leave. By our second date, we were engaged. He flew back home once more before our wedding in the spring to attend my senior prom with me.

I graduated high school in May and a month later on June 25, we married.  

June 25, 1983And here thirty years later, I have no regrets.

I can truthfully say that I have spent the last three decades with the man of my dreams and my best friend and it has far exceeded my girlhood expectations.

Stationed in Scotland

We’ve been blessed to travel the world with the Navy, to have four beautiful children and now a grandson.

We've lived in South Carolina, Florida, Hawaii (twice), Connecticut (twice), Scotland, Louisiana and now Missouri. We've moved more times than I can count. 


Hawaii

But maybe the most beautiful thing has been discovering and journeying together in our pursuit of God. We’ve grown up together. We’ve gone from foolish and worldly to curious and hungry, to ultimately determined that ‘as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord’. We’ve laughed a lot, dreamed a lot, loved a lot and have prayed a lot. Now don’t get me wrong. We’ve made our share of mistakes. We’ve had disappointments and failures. We’ve suffered loss and rejection. We’ve walked through a lot together these many years. But I can stand here thirty years later and say that we are profoundly blessed and I wouldn’t change a thing.

There's not another person i would rather do life with than Keith Johnson. There's not another person on earth who understands me and sees me as I am yet accepts me and loves me and honors me. And there's no other who I respect like I do him, nobody who can make me laugh like he can. He's a man of great wisdom. There's a high level anointing on his life to preach and prophesy. The authority he carries bring a sense of peace wherever he goes and young people are drawn to the shelter of his daddy's heart. He has selflessly provided our family with a protective covering and a loving foundation. 
Our relationship has matured and evolved over the years. It's amazing what God has done. There's so much more to our love story that is locked away in the secret places of our hearts but our beautiful story is still being written and I look forward to many more decades of love, laughter and adventure together.

Our beautiful grandbaby Gabriel Michael Ortego

So today on the anniversary of our marriage, I want to honor this man who caught my eye when I was nine years old. I've loved you since I was in fourth grade, Keith Johnson. We've come a long way! I am blessed among women. Happy Anniversary honey. You still are my sunshine!

From two kids who married in 1983 has come this beautiful anointed family. God is indeed good!

 

The Impact of One

This past week our eldest daughter and first grand baby traveled to Louisiana
 and he got to meet his great, great aunt Bobbie! :)

Approximately twenty-seven years ago, Keith and I, newly married and backslidden as can be, landed in Hawaii to begin his three year tour of duty with the Navy. For this immature girl who had hardly ever been out of the South, it was a dream come true. I had always wanted to travel and Hawaii was definitely on my bucket list.

So here we were, on the other side of the world from home. But as God would have it, He had a divine connection planned for us. As it turned out, Keith’s uncle, Andrew Herbert Johnson (Uncle Herb to us), who was a Navy chaplain, Commander and former fighter pilot and his wife, Aunt Bobbie, were also stationed there the exact same time as we were. And this ‘coincidence’ changed the course of our lives forever.

Keith and I had been raised in church and when we were young we had both made a ‘profession of faith’. But as adults, we weren’t living it. Actually most of the Christians we had known hadn’t seemed to be very happy and there wasn’t a whole lot of ‘Life’ in their Christianity to attract us. So we had sort of unconsciously resolved to have as much fun as we could while we were young and we figured that we’d settle down and act responsibly when we were older.

Then we met Aunt Bobbie and Uncle Herb. There was something different about them. At the time, I was 21 years old and Aunt Bobbie was 50-something yet I looked for every opportunity to be around her. I know I must have gotten on her nerves sometimes tagging along but if I did she never once showed it. She just loved me, short skirts and all. Yes she just accepted me. She spent time with me. She invited me along shopping with her. She welcomed us into her home every Sunday and any time in between. She cooked delicious meals for us. (Her rolls themselves were reason enough to keep coming back!) But she spent hours of time with me. Just letting me hang out with her. She and Uncle Herb were there for us. They made us feel like we mattered.

It wasn’t so much of what she said, yes she would answer my many questions, but it was mostly just what she lived. She and Uncle Herb just lived love. They reached out to some of the most unlovable people on the base and invited them into their home. I would sometimes feel jealous at not having them all to myself. But it just flowed out of them. And when Aunt Bobbie or Uncle Herb prayed, we felt something we’d never felt before. We couldn’t quite put our finger on it at the time, but for some reason we were drawn to them. We just felt Good when we were with them. A hunger began growing in my heart. I had seen LIFE, and I wanted it too. They weren’t just Christians in word, they had someONE living in them. I knew this because I felt Him every time I was with them. And I wanted what they had. For the first time in my life I realized, there was more. Christianity as I’d experienced it wasn’t all there was. Jesus was really real. He was current. He wasn’t boring. He was fun. But nobody TOLD me this, I just KNEW it, because I knew Aunt Bobbie and Uncle Herb.

Now Aunt Bobbie wasn’t perfect. But she was real. And what a sense of humor she had! She would sometimes get tickled in church and couldn’t stop giggling. This was my kind of lady! She had fun and joy just bubbled out of her. Almost more than anything, this intrigued me. I guess I had thought Christians were dour, boring old sourpusses. But Aunt Bobbie was a hoot! That, I could relate to!

She and Uncle Herb invested in me and Keith. They didn’t preach at us, they just loved us and lived an authentic life, full of LIFE in front of us. We didn’t change right away. A lot of what was sown into our lives at that time didn't  bear fruit for years. Actually it was so gradual that I don’t know if they were even aware of the impact they were making then. But something was definitely taking root in us. And it literally changed the course of our lives.

Now years later, we have raised four children and our family has grown to include a son-in-law and a new grandbaby. I am very proud of my family. I look at my husband and children and how they love and serve the Lord and I am so grateful. Actually that doesn’t even come close to expressing how I feel. I am BEYOND grateful if there is such a thing. We’ve had people say how much they admire our family and they ask us what we’ve done. And I find that astounding. I really do. I’m not bragging, it’s just one of those things that happens repeatedly and I’m always left, like Mary, amazed and pondering these things in my heart. Because I honestly didn’t have a clue what I was doing 24 years ago when I became a mom. And 24 years later its still a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants operation. I guess all I had was an intense desire- stronger than anything I’d ever felt before holding my firstborn in my arms- to do this thing right. And a revelation that I didn’t have what it took to do it. But I did have a God who did. There are no formulas and I don’t understand it, but God has blessed our family.

But one thing I do know- the blessing on our family today can be traced back approximately 27 years ago to a little speck of an island in the vast Pacific Ocean. The fact that my children are serving God today and impacting the Kingdom can be traced back to the influence of one simple couple, who saw value in two disillusioned, immature twenty-somethings and who chose to sow time, love and life into us. I will be forever grateful to them for the harvest we now enjoy. As I look into the face of my precious grandson, knowing how his parents will raise him in the presence of the Lord, I just want to weep with gratitude and to somehow repay them for what they gave us. But I know one day, that their reward will be handed to them by the Lord Himself and it will be eternal.

So never under-estimate the value of investing into one person's life. You may not see the fruit immediately. But it could have eternal and generational impact. Our family is proof of that. My children can thank Aunt Bobbie and Uncle Herb (and God of course ;) that they know Jesus. One life impacting generations and the Kingdom of God.

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Pursuing The Uncreated in 2012

Last night as I saw 2011 draw to a close, I listed to the Lord, my desires for myself and my loved ones in 2012.

To begin with- More of Jesus and less of me

• To be more in the Word and for the Word to be more in me
• To trust more
• To love more
• To have wisdom and revelation
• To see more healing and to have more freedom
• To walk more in the fear of the Lord
• To have less fear of man
• To carry more of the presence of the Lord wherever I go
• To recognize and invest in God-ordained relationships and for them to be defined by God
• To truly pursue and to diligently seek God
• To be less distracted and more focused
• To have more discipline
• More fruitfulness
• More faithfulness
• More selflessness

To end with- Again...More of Jesus and less of me. Everything in my list is summed up in that one desire. And what more could we ask for?

As we seek first His Kingdom, all these things will be added… Everything we need is found, when we get our eyes off the thing that we need and instead we seek… Him.  He is more than enough. Everything we need, we will find when finding Him. Whatever you are facing, you will find the answer in more of Jesus. And the more we know of Him, the more we want Him. We could spend eternity exploring the many facets and glories of Jesus and never fully exhaust them. He is infinitely beautiful.

I recently found this that I had written a few years ago and thought it worthy of a repost.  


As I've been reading Tozer, I have had this thought mulling about in my head today- the self-existence of God. Have you ever thought of that? Children do, when they ask, “where does God come from?” Whoa! It really staggers me to the core and twists my brain into knots when I think of this. It’s an uncomfortable thought.

Like eternity.

This concept used to scare me as a child. With our human existence dictated by time, by beginnings and ends; the thought of no end, of eternity, was (and still can be) overwhelming and unsettling. No time; no beginning, and no end. Unfathomable!

Yet we are created in His image. In HIS image- the Uncreated, Eternal One. No other creature has this distinction. What an honor. Definitely we are the created and not the Creator since we have a beginning- but what a staggering thought. Those who had the privilege of gazing into heaven and beholding His throne and likeness (Ezekiel, Daniel, Isaiah, John the Revelator, etc), described Him as best they could using words based on their experience… “He was LIKE this or that”, “in the likeness of…” Yet their experience of Him was still so far above anything they'd known in the created realm. Finite human words could not express the exactness of Him. Although He was similar to this or that, still He was not EXACTLY like anything their human senses had ever experienced or could put into words.

A.W. Tozer says in THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE HOLY (which I highly recommend), “’What is God like?' If by that question we mean ‘ What is God like in Himself?' There is no answer. If we mean ‘What has God disclosed about Himself that the reverent reason can comprehend?' There is, I believe, an answer both full and satisfying ...That God can be known by the soul in tender personal experience while remaining infinitely aloof from the curious eyes of reason constitutes a paradox best described as, ‘Darkness to the intellect but sunshine to the heart’.”

But doesn't the self-existence of God just take your breath away? Does that not just cause Him to be magnified in your mind? The more I think on this, the more I want to worship Him. Not because I understand it, but because I do not! He is SO far above what I can even imagine. As high as the heavens are above me, His ways and His Being are just so much higher! Who am I to question such a God. He is no god, He is GOD! Who am I to doubt Him, to not trust Him, to not walk in complete confidence and security. He is GOD! He is MY God! And oh the wonder of it, I am His beloved child. Whoa! The Uncreated One…! May we, His children, bow before Him in holy fear; with amazement and gratitude. Wonder of wonders- He, the Uncreated, loves us; and we who have believed on Him, who have called on His name, the created, will live eternally with Him. Unfathomable, unthinkable! Yet gloriously beautiful!

I wrote this song several years ago with the thought of the Uncreated majesty of Jesus in mind: If you'd like to hear the song click on the "View My Complete Profile" link  and then click on the audio clip there.

“Here we are gathered in Your name.
We long for more, to never be the same
Moving towards the Uncreated One

Overwhelmed as You invade our space
Take us in, to that Holy place
Purify, consuming flame
We love Your name

You are awesome and frightening
Beautiful God
Consuming fire and lightning
Holy One
Enthroned, eternal Love
You are Good; and we bow
We bow down”

May God bless you with more of Himself in 2012. Draw near to Him and He promises to draw near to you. The Uncreated delights to draw near to His creation. How beautiful. Happy New Year!

My Christmas post :)

In historic St Charles with my beautiful mom.

Merry Christmas! How on earth did it get here so fast? I wanted to blog a post at this most important time of year so here it is, such as it is. (But don't get too excited :/).

Well its two weeks until Christmas and the annual eleventh hour panic is beginning to set in. Last year I had nearly everything purchased by Black Friday but a November grandbaby kind of distracted me this year. ;) Don’t think I’m complaining though. I’ll take having our lives completely turned upside down and eternally enriched over proficiency and organization any day. He grows more dear and beautiful every day and we are falling deeper in love with him. I love how his smell lingers on my clothes after I’ve held him. Makes me not want to throw them in the washer (I do though in case any of you are worried :). I love the expressions and movements he makes. These things were once such a huge part of my life when I had newborns but I didn’t even realize how much I’d forgotten until it all came back with my grandbaby. The other day I found an article my Dad had written when Haley was born called “Bear with me, I’m a first-time grandfather”. I now know exactly how he felt. So bear with me when I gush about my grandbaby. He is just so wonderful and amazing!!! I can’t help myself.

This is our first Christmas in our new house, in our new state, in our new church. So far I’m having a blast. The crisp, cold weather, the family close by, the novelty of decorating a new house…it’s all combined to give me the Christmas cheer in a concentrated dose.


Now let me tell you about another new thing we got to be a part of here. Each Christmas our new church, Faith Chapel does something called the Advent Conspiracy. The concept behind it is to substitute our culture’s consumption with Christ’s compassion. Where instead of being swept up with the commercialism of Christmas, we make a choice to spend less and to give more. The cause our church chose this year to give to was Samuel’s House. Samuel’s House is a ministry that rescues abandoned children in Caracas Venezuela. They have eight homes with house parents for these children. Last year at Christmas, the generosity of Faith Chapel helped to build one of these homes. This year, Faith Chapel’s Advent Conspiracy project was to give each of the children of Samuel’s House a great Christmas. Families and individuals sponsored each of the 38 children housed there. We were given their sizes, hobbies and interests. Every child at Samuel's House was sponsored by someone in our church. We were so blessed to be here this year to participate. And on Christmas morning this year, each of these precious children will open up brand new presents picked out just for them for the first time ever. A lot of these children were rescued from the streets and the garbage dumps of Caracas. Many have never had anything new before. What blessing to be a part of a church that prioritizes the Kingdom during this materialistic season that is really supposed to be all about Jesus. I’m so thankful to have been a part it. It made Christmas seem like Christmas this year for the first time in a long time. If anyone is looking for a good cause to give to this year, Samuel’s House is a great ministry that is really doing the work of Jesus here on this earth. Check it out by going to http://www.thevenezuelareport.com/index.php and clicking the “Giving” link.


<><> <><> <><>

Four Generations

Also this month, my Mom came the week before Thanksgiving to stay with us for three weeks and she just left today.  We all miss her. I declare we gained 5 to 10 pounds having her here. What’s with Mommas wanting to feed you all the time? But trust me, none of us complained about this. We just shoveled it in and kept going back for more. It was fun showing her around and showing her off. She really was able to relax and just enjoy being here at home and worshipping with us at church. Watching her see her great-grandson for the first time and seeing all four generations together just made me step back amazed with gratitude at the goodness of God. The Lord has done so much in our family. The righteous sowing of prayer , worship and repentance has led to a harvest of blessing. He delights in blessing the generations when we obey. When tempted to sin, if nothing else will get my attention, when I think of how sin opens a door that will affect the generations after me, I am stopped in my tracks.

Oh did I mention that my Mom taught my husband to make her famous pralines and fudge? I’m afraid we’ve created a monster. We shall be fat I’m afraid. But although we’ve moved North we are still cooking like Southern folks. Tonight Keith whipped up a Sauce Piquante that would make you want to slap your Grandmaw. Just this month we have had Seafood Gumbo, Shrimp and Corn Bisque, fried chicken, fried okra and hot water bread, plus the best pecan pie on earth and of course the ever present pralines and fudge… I think my husband missed his calling. He so could be a chef or at least a Cajun caterer. There just might be a market for that up here in the Midwest.  We just love food way too much. And like my dad used to do, Keith photographs his food. So I will add a tantalizing photo for your viewing pleasure and you can have pity and not judge me when I have to buy new jeans.

Well unfortunately I haven’t totally avoided the seduction of materialism and commercialism this year.  Again I've spent way too much and (as mentioned above) have eaten way too much. How sad but prevalent it is to forget to invite Jesus to His own birthday celebration. But thankfully some Venezuelan orphans and a sweet grandbaby have helped to refocus me on Jesus. I told Haley one day when Gabe was still in the NICU… just think how careful they are with sanitation and how worried they are about viruses and germs yet Jesus was born in a barn. I think we glamorize it a bit. My manger scene on my bookshelf looks quite inviting and sterile but in reality our God left the glories of heaven to come to this earth clothed in human skin as a tiny baby boy and born in a dirty, stinky barn. He was born helpless, dependent, vulnerable.  Its quite amazing when you just sit and think about it. How He loved us to do this. But despite this reality, for many, Christmas is a sad time, a time of stress and anxiety and loneliness. The enemy can’t change what Jesus did by coming here to earth, being born to die for our sins, but he can try to corrupt our celebration of it by making it into something ugly. He always comes to steal, kill and destroy. He steals the focus from Jesus. He kills joy causing depression and suicide to become rampant during the holidays. He destroys finances through gross materialism and over spending.  But everything he destroys, he does with our help. Our pastor’s wife Beth Riley said it best. She said, “Satan’s agenda hides in the disobedience of God’s children.” Ouch. But its true. We have a choice. When we “Submit to God and resist the devil, he WILL flee.” Without our cooperation, he doesn’t have a whole lot of ammunition to use against us. I've definitely given him plenty throughout the years with being caught up in the worry, strife, stress and materialism during what should be a simple joyous celebration of my Savior's birth.


But its not too late to stop and refocus. It's never too late for Jesus. Let us determine with what is left of this holiday season to not get caught up in the world's shallow, corrupted Christmas. Instead of focusing on the procurement of the latest must-have gizmo or gadget (which will probably be obsolete by the end of next year) may we primarily pursue and invest in the eternal One we are supposed to be celebrating-- Jesus. The Lord once spoke to my heart in the midst of a financial struggle to stop grieving over finances and possessions because these things are temporary but relationships are what is eternal. Only our investments in a relationship with Him and with others will endure and bear fruit in eternity.

I pray that in the midst of the chaos, the noise and the clutter of what has become the Christmas season that He would be found  as we seek Him above all else. May the peace and presence of Jesus invade our homes this year and transform our lives. Merry Christmas guys and God bless you, every one!

Beyond the Walls

I was looking back through this blog at some very old posts and I found this one that I had forgotten I had written. It really jumped out at me as something I needed to share again. So I am resposting it in part. Here it is... :)

God is purifying me! And wow am I seeing lots of dross! Too much it seems sometimes. At times I want to say, “Stop! That’s enough! Don’t show me anything else!” But thankfully, HE knows when to stop! Praise Him for that!  I’ve definitely seen some walls coming down in my life. Okay, maybe not all of the way down… I’m not sure the state of the walls… but I DO know that some mighty big cracks are showing. You’d think that would make for an exciting, joy-filled time, wouldn’t you? Ha! As walls come down, they EXPOSE what’s behind them! When Jericho’s walls came down, the Israelites didn’t just throw a party because the walls were down and then that was it. They had to go in and continue the conquest of Jericho. They had to put to death the inhabitants of the city. The Lord showed me this but I wondered how to fight, and Pastor shared the answer the next Sunday- We don’t battle with natural weapons, we put those things to death through the cross--through dying.  The walls ARE coming down (hallelujah), but I’m seeing ugly things behind those walls. Things in me that need to die! And they’re not dying easily… Some of them are fighting to live on! But I am determined! I will not go round this mountain again. I will not jump off this altar again. Jumping off may give me a temporary reprieve, but rest assured- I'll be back at this same place one day again if I do not remain and let God finish what He's begun.

I believe there is an anointing, RIGHT NOW, for breakthrough- to deal with deep-seated strongholds we’ve dealt with for years. Strongholds we’ve become so familiar and comfortable with that we’ve ceased to even fight them. Yes, we hate them, but it’s easier to live with them in the land than to fight them and put them to death. I’m reminded of so many of Israel’s kings who may have been good and who destroyed the idols of the land, but who left the high places… or left some of the inhabitants in the land and didn’t deal with them. And those inhabitants are still a thorn in Israel’s side to this day. The descendants of the children of Israel are today, battling those same enemies who were not dealt with back then. If I continue to leave the high places in my heart and life, if I continue to leave certain strongholds and open doors to the enemy- am I not hurting more than just myself? Am I also leaving that door open to my children? My grandchildren? My great-grandchildren? This go-'round, I feel a determination in my heart that I’ve never felt before when I’ve faced familiar strongholds once again- This time I will not stop fighting and dying until the walls are down and Jericho is conquered. This is the last time I will face this. Because I am going to not only face it, but conquer it in Jesus name! If I won’t do it for me, then I’ll do it for my children; for my generations. As I said before- there is an anointing for breakthrough right now! And it’s not just for me. It’s for everyone. Perazim- breakthrough! Yet we have a choice. Will we respond to Him in this season? Or will we jump and run before He’s done? Lord, help us to remain in the flame! (That sounds like a song! :^).  So if I've seemed not myself lately, just know, I am in the fire. It hurts and it isn’t fun. But I have hope in my heart that after the breakthrough, there will be more of Him! What more could I ask!? HE’s gonna be worth it all!

"Purify our hearts
Cleanse us from our sin
Open up the doors
And let the King of Glory in"

Gabriel's birth

Isn't he just beautiful? :)

As promised here are the details of little Gabe's birth... but rather than me telling it, I will instead give you his mom's perspective. Here's a  beautifully written post my daughter Haley posted on her blog at http://haleyeortego.blogspot.com/.  I have been so impressed by the maturity, the faithfulness and selflessness my daughter and son-in-law have displayed throughout this long week. They have stood together in unity as they've tirelessly put their baby's needs before their own. Needless to say, little Gabriel is very loved. Anyway, here's the story, in Haley's words:

 I would like to officially announce and update you on the birth of my sweet little boy. Gabriel (God is my strength) Michael (Who is like God?) born November 11, 2011. (11/11/11!) He weighs 8 lb and 7 oz and is 23 inches long. He is definitely the cutest thing I have ever seen, with dark blue eyes and good bit of dark brown hair. He is so handsome!

Labor was long, 24 hours, but it was also the most amazing experience. I felt God's hand on Josh and I through the entire progress. I know there were a lot of people lifting us up in prayer and I could feel the covering of the Lord. Like most things in life, things never go quite you like you plan. I've been thinking and dreaming about those first few moments and days with my son for 9 months. It didn't quite go like I had planned. Here's an update on the events of our lives over the last few days...

Gabe: Upon arrival, Gabe was having some trouble breathing. At first it was no big deal, seemed to be pretty standard for him to have trouble catching his breath. After several minutes of labored breathing they called the house pediatrician to take a look at him. She wasn't initially concerned, but after awhile of the same labored breathing she ordered X-rays of his chest. X-rays revealed what is called a Spontaneous Pneumo thorax ( a pocket of air between the lung and membrane wall) or collapsed lung. Gabe had two. Apparently this occurs in 2-5% of babies and usually corrects itself with no therapy. She consulted with a Dr at St. Louis Children's Hospital and was advised to send him to the NICU there. One of the pockets of air in Gabes lung was large enough they used a small needle to remove the air to prevent it from expanding and causing any pressure. After running some more test they also discovered that his white blood cell count was high. Over the next few days, all of Gabes X-rays and test came back great. Due to the initial results of the blood test though they have decided to keep him at Children's until Thursday. They want him to finish up his antibiotics just to make sure he doesn't end up back at the hospital. I absolutely appreciate the caution of the Doctors and as a parent definetly want to use wisdom...but I do know that Jesus healed my little boy. It's just kinda hard to explain that to a doctor.

In Daddy's arms

Josh: Is amazing! I didn't think it was to fall deeper in love with my high school sweetheart..but I did this weekend. He was so incredibly supportive. He never left my side through the whole long process. He must have told me how awesome I was doing 25,000 times. And even though I didn't always feel so awesome, having him believing in me and cheering me on made all the difference. Seriously, the guy that can still call you princess and beautiful when your in the worst pain of your life, throwing up, and experiencing all the other glamorous aspect of labor is...a liar, and totally worth marrying and keeping forever. :) I got to meet a new side of Josh this week, the part of him that is now a Daddy. When they took Gabe from me, to a hospital almost an hour away, I was beyond devastated. I had such reassurance in knowing that Gabe went with the presence of God and with his Daddy riding right beside him in the back of the ambulance. Josh was going on 72 hours with 5 hours of sleep, but he never left Gabe. Going through things like this as a couple will either make you or break you. I am so thankful that Josh and I both carry the presence of Jesus Christ, and in moments like these I just grow in love and respect for the man of God that he is. And oh my goodness! Is there anything cuter than a man and a baby? Josh is so smitten its not even funny. I love to watch him fall in love with that smooshy little baby. 

Mom and Gabe making eyes at each other

Me: Well...needless to say the last several days have been emotional. Never in a million years did I imagine that I would spend the first day of my baby's life almost an hour away from him. I was seriously devastated. I knew Gabe would be ok. I kept saying, "I know my God, and I know he is a healer." The real struggle was just not getting to connect with my son. I got to hold him for about 15 min before he left. which I was very thankful for...but of course it was not nearly enough. So since my arrival at Children's Saturday afternoon, Gabe has hardly been put down. I don't think you can spoil anyone with love...so we seize every cuddling opportunity possible. He is just so good at snuggling...oh I could just eat him!! I just love being the momma of Gabriel. Words just can't express how in love I am with this beautiful, sweet, screaming, bright eyed, squishy boy. I speed shower and rush through eating so I can get back to him. As hard as this week has been...probably the hardest I've ever had to go through...I know God is our author and finisher, and he is so faithful. Without realizing what i was singing, i realized this morning I was singing the line, "You are faithful, from generation to generation.." God has never failed us and he continues by showing such faithfulness to Gabriel. Josh and I had the opportunity today to pray with three people who had babies in the NICU. One has been here for over 7 months. I know so many of you have been keeping Gabe in your prayers this week. Words can't express our gratitude. We've been so blessed by all the text, messages, and comments we've received. As you pray for my baby, would you please also take the time to lift up little Christian, Josiah, and Mitchell...all three little boys who have been here entirely too long and need a touch from Jesus. The NICU is such a sad place to be. Thankfully the presence of God goes with us even into the most dismal places. I pray that if for no other reason God used us here this week to show love to a hurting heart. What an honor it is to be chosen and used by God in those moments. So we count it all joy :)

Baby Gabey

Indescribable Love

Me and my grandson. So in love...

When I first found out, I was concerned about what I'd be called. People tried to tell me it wouldn't matter when the time came and I don't know if I quite knew what they meant... But now I do.

Gabriel Michael Ortego has made me a grandmother. He was born this past Friday night. Yes on 11/11/11 at 3:01 am weighing 8 lbs 7 oz and 23 inches long.

I guess he'll call me Mimi. But he can call me whatever he wants because I love him. I just want to get this down and out there while the emotions are high but although he isn't even a week old and I've only held him once, I love that baby more than life itself. I would lay down my life for him, no questions asked. Gabriel cannot yet speak, show me love, do anything for me. Heck, he can't do anything much at all right now but eat and cry and make dirty diapers. He's totally helpless and dependent. So why do I love him so much already? How can this be? Just because. He's my grandson. Just like I love his beautiful mother and each of my children. Just because. They are mine. And just like that, I begin to sort of understand Jesus' unexplainable love for us. He loves us... just because. He did give His life for us and He longs every day to be with us. He doesn't 'need' us and we can't really do one thing of ourselves to even come before Him... But He paid the highest price, because we were priceless to Him. He made a way because He loves us. I think I am kind of getting it now.

We love Gabe. The love on Haley and Josh's faces for their baby is just beyond beautiful to me. I love watching them with him almost as much as I love to watch him. Its like a whole new layer has been pulled back off of my heart and I feel love at a new, raw, holy level.  He's absolutely priceless to his parents and to each of us who are blessed to be a part of his family. Our lives have each been forever changed by this tiny little soul that my beautiful daughter and son-in-law blessed the world with.

There's much more that I haven't found expression for and more details about his birth which I promise will come at a later date. But right now I am almost speechless. Hard to fathom I know :). And if you haven't been there yet, I'll tell you like they told me...one day you will understand. But you probably won't be able to explain the emotions any better than I just have :). It's indescribable.

So here's some pictures of our precious  baby boy. You gotta admit... he's pretty dang cute! :D

Gabe and Mommy

I will still and quiet my soul like a well fed child with his mother.

Bright eyes