Drawing Near To the Light

Psalm 56:13 says… “You have kept my feet from slipping, so now I can walk in Your presence, in Your life-giving light.”

God’s word says that His presence is like a light… I’ve been thinking on this for a couple of days. His presence is like a light. A light reveals, and our response is that either it draws us, or it repels us. When you turn on the outside light at night, moths and bugs usually flock to it. They are DRAWN to the light. But also, when we turn on a light in a dark place, like my shed or outside storage room, roaches run for cover… They are HIDING from the light... In Luke it tells of the time when Jesus was in the boat with the disciples and they made the miraculous catch of fish (one of His first miracles that they saw), Peter’s response was, “Please leave me Lord. I am too much of a sinner to be around You.” Thankfully Jesus’ response to him was, “Don’t be afraid.” And Peter and the others left all and followed Him.” They chose to draw near. I just read this morning the account of when Jesus cast the legion of demons out of the possessed man of Gadarenes, how the locals, even after viewing the formerly demon-possessed man, clothed and in his right mind sitting at the feet of Jesus, how they begged Jesus to please LEAVE the area… And He did! Their response was to move away from the Light, or rather to ask the Light to move away from them! The Israelites at Mt. Sinai were given an opportunity to draw near to the Living God, but they pulled away in fear and (basically) said, "Moses, YOU tell us what He says. We prefer to stay at a distance and not get too close." Oh mercy! And my question is- what will our response be to His presence? Honestly, there have been times when I wanted to run. I might not actually run or consciously ask Him to leave, but I would busy myself with GOOD things. Ministry things. Nothing wrong with that, right? But like with busy Martha and worshipping Mary, what did Jesus say the better thing was? Mary's way-To just sit at His feet, to gaze into His face and to just enjoy His presence- to WORSHIP! As the sense of His presence is increasing in our worship services, it is a choice we have to make to draw near and to really FOCUS on Him when there is so much in this life, even good things that can distract us and take our attention away. We don't need to wait for Sunday morning or Wednesday night to worship. Fellowshipping with Him should be a part of our life, just as fellowshipping with our family members is... This is a challenge and I am praying for this to become to me as natural as breathing!

I’ve been thinking about this for some time and praying that the Lord could really help me to focus my FULL attention on Him during corporate worship and during quiet times of fellowship with Him. Pastor Ralph encouraged our worship team a couple of weeks ago with this also. You would think that for Christians that would be an easy thing for us to do. But it’s possible for us to be busy FOR God and yet miss Him entirely.

During a church service, how is it that we would never think of visiting, talking and taking care of business (I need to talk to this person and give them this or that), during the preaching but we feel totally comfortable to do that during worship time? We have no problem giving the Pastor our full attention during the time of hearing the word of God. But during worship, we will visit and go in and out of the sanctuary rather than giving our awesome, holy God our FULL attention during HIS time. Worship is all about Him and nothing else. It is HIS TIME. If we had an audience with the President of the United States, would we not give him our full attention? Would we be distracted? Would we say, "excuse me Mr. President" and then go busy ourselves with something else, while he waited for us? I don't think so. I think most of us would count it a privilege to have an appointment with the President and would honor that time, focus on him and him only and remain with him during his appointed time. So why, when we have an audience with the King of kings and the Lord of lords, do we treat that time as common and optional? How much more should we honor and value the time in our services set aside to focus on and to draw near in worship to our God. He certainly was focused on us when He sent His only Son to die so that we might have life. Don't we at the very least owe Him our uninteruppted, full attention? These are questions I ask myself... I don’t mean to sound judgmental or legalistic. God knows we have to take care of our children and often have to deal with things like that during worship time but I’m more talking about an attitude of the heart. Worship isn't meant to be optional. Worship is high on God's priority list. It is a time to focus on Him alone, not on the songs, the worship team or the pastors. In the Church (the Body of Christ as a whole, not just our church) there is often a casualness about worship and what it really is. I’ve heard and I believe that the Lord is restoring worship to its proper place in these latter days. Like it was in the days of the King David and Solomon, worship is meant not as entertainment or as a nice way to warm up a church service but rather it is a vehicle to transport us into the glory of the Living God! Whoa! Into the presence of the Living God! Into His Light! How can we treat that casually, take it or leave it or come in and out of it? Why would we want to?!

Pastor Ralph shared with our worship team how as worship leaders, rather than us LEADING the congregation into the presence of God, it’s more like we BRING the presence of God down to the people. I’d never thought of it like that before. Worship prepares hearts for the message of the Word and opens the way for the prophetic. Elijah (or was it Elisha?) asked for a minstrel to play before he gave the word of the Lord to the king. When we have been in a time of worship, we have been with God. We have focused on Him and have put everything aside for a period of time to draw near Him and to give Him what is due Him. Our hearts are enlightened, softened and prepared and we are better able now, to receive the word of the Lord.

The Bible says that God INHABITS the praises of His people. And the devil doesn’t like that ONE BIT! He’s going to do everything he can to distract us from coming into the Light, from focusing and truly worshipping God as He deserves. We usually have enough sense to not be tempted with BIG sins, but it’s the little distractions during worship that trip us up and get our eyes on anything but God. Believe me, I know about those! Even as a worship leader I have to fight often to stay focused. The devil is afraid of the Light, like those roaches in my storage shed! It EXPOSES him and he likes to stay hidden so he can do his dirty work. He is afraid of the presence of God and what will happen when God's people really come together in the light, in unity and worship the Living God corporately. He's going to fight us tooth and nail to keep that from happening because he knows how powerful our worship is.

But as I said before, God's presence is increasing in our church. I am challenged in that we have an incredible opportunity RIGHT NOW to press in, to draw close during this time in a way we’ve never had before. My prayer for myself, my family and our church is that we would RECOGNIZE this open door and the times we are in and we would CHOOSE to focus on God, even when it’s hard, in order to draw near to Him during this time. For He promises that when we draw near to Him. He draws near TO US! Praise the Lord!

As we sang last night- “I want to be with You where you are Jesus”.

“God where are You? We want to stay in step with You. Where are you taking us? We do not want to be busy doing other things, distracted by even ministry things and good things and miss where You are! If You do not go with us, we will not go. But if Your cloud moves, we want to not be so busy that we aren’t aware that it has moved and remain where we are… still here, still taking care of business as usual, but not moving on and being where You are. Open our eyes Lord. Forgive me for when I have not really been focused on You but rather on the things OF You. As the sense of Your presence in our church increases, may we make the right choice and draw near--even when we feel uncomfortable with the Light of Your presence revealing our heart to us. May we not busy ourselves, distract ourselves, scurry away from the light (like those yucky bugs in my outside storage room) but rather draw nearer and nearer… even when it’s uncomfortable. For we want to be with You where You are Lord. In Your glorious revealing, cleansing, life-changing presence. Help us Lord to draw near to Your Light. Thank You that You will! Amen”

Quotes on this subject: (added 4/03/07)
"The devil is aware that one hour of close fellowship... with God , is able to pull down what he hath been contriving and building for many a year." John Flavel

"As Christ is enthroned in worship, Satan is dethroned in the heavenlies (see Ps 22:3, 149:5-9). As we lift up the Son, we pull down the serpent!" Dutch Sheets

On the Word...and Chocolate...

I was talking to a friend today about how in studying the Word, (which of course we need to do), that we not analyze it so much that it becomes dry, dead law rather than nourishing life and warm light to our souls. Yes, I value the Word and the study of the Word. But can we dissect it and analyze it so much that it becomes more of a specimen under a glass than the living, breathing, personal Word of the One we love, the One we desperately need to hear from and the One we exist for?

This discussion with my friend reminded me of something I read once in an old book I have by Corrie Ten Boom. She was a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp in World War II, having been imprisoned for helping the Jews. After her release (her sister and father died in the camps), she traveled the world telling her story and preaching the Gospel. Here is an account of her that I am reminded of. I couldn't find the book I was looking for in my bookshelf, but I did find this account online.

The story is told of the time Corrie Ten Boom was to speak to a group of theologians after the war. She first passed out Dutch chocolate to each person there - a real treat in those days. After they had eaten it she said, "No one said anything about the chocolate." Someone protested that they had indeed thanked her for it. She replied, "I meant that none of you asked me how much sugar was in it. Or what kind of chocolate it was. Or the order in which the ingredients were added together. Or the temperature of the mix. Or where it was made. You just took it and ate it." Someone in the audience replied, "And it was excellent." Corrie Ten Boom then continued holding up her Bible, "And in the same way you should read this! Stop analyzing it or you will never be nourished. Pick it up and read the Word of God!"

The story of Corrie Ten Boom and chocolate, illustrates the need to read the Bible in a personal way, to let the Spirit speak through the Word, to make it part of our daily devotions without over-analyzing its ingredients. This approach leads to a deepening of spiritual life. Corrie Ten Boom urged the theologians to read the Bible in that way. She does so because theologians, and many of us, read the Bible too much in an analytic manner. We apply a critical, scientific attitude toward it, in an attempt to understand what it says. Such a manner of reading may nourish the intellect but can become a dry intellectual process that leaves the soul barren...

In recounting this story, I am reminded that- yes, I am to read the Word, study the Word, know the Word and DO the Word. But in so doing, am I operating in the Spirit of the Word when I technically pick it apart and impersonally slap it onto a hurting friend's painful situation like a band-aid on a tumor? Heaven forbid!

"Father, may Your Word go down and burrow into the deepest place of our heart of hearts and find good soil to nourish it's growth. May it spring up from that place and spread throughout, choking out the weeds (the lies) that may grow there. May Your Word shine like the penetrating noonday sun into our souls, burning away the fog of confusion and penetrating every crevice where the creeping shadows have tried to hide. And Lord, please, please, please give us illumination of Your life-giving Word and the Spirit behind it, so that we may wield it carefully and compassionately and know it, as we know Your very heart. In Jesus name. Amen"

"The Hall" !

Hello… I wonder if anyone ever checks this anymore since I tend to take so long between posts! :^)… I wish I could write just a little something each day like my other seasoned blogger friends, but the daily details of my life aren’t too exciting and my observations on things seem to take too long to form in my mind… Is it my age? I know I had a birthday recently, but… mercy! I saw an ad yesterday on TV about some game you can buy that sharpens your mind and helps with your memory… I thought- I need that! I really do!… So I guess it’s not just me! That comforts me a little… but only a little! :^)

I do think that a lot of my muddle-brainness (a new word! Yay!) comes from where I am in life. I like categories, labels, titles… where am I Lord? Which season is this? Am I here or there? I’ve come to the conclusion that perhaps I’m neither here nor there! I’ve been hearing a lot of prophetic words about ‘transitions’. I can relate, but what are we transitioning to? There IS the sense of change in the air, yet I’ve felt that for quite some time… I’ve become accustomed to it, perhaps have grown tired in it and have lost the sense of anticipation… At first waiting expectantly… then waiting… waiting… waiting… sigh… waiting… yawn…waiting… I am reminded of the ten virgins in the Bible. They were waiting for the Bridegroom. Some grew tired, they were lulled to sleep in their waiting… then when the transition began, they were dull, sleepy, unprepared, and they missed Him!

I heard a teaching at Brownsville about being in “the hall” of transition. In a house, you have many rooms… You have the kitchen, where people gather and eat. You have the living room where they sit and fellowship. You have the bedroom where they rest. Then you have THE HALL…. What do we do in a hall? Do we sit down? There are no chairs in the hall… There isn’t a bed in the hall… There’s not a stove or a table in the hall…Compared to the other rooms, a hall seems kind of pointless. But wait! It does have a purpose… it is to get you from Point A to Point B. There’s no escaping the hall. If you want to get from the bedroom to the kitchen in my house, you must access the hall… The chairless, empty hall… I never sit in the hall… I keep moving… It is a necessary passageway… I guess it would be kind of abrupt to walk out of my private bedroom into the very public kitchen… The hall sort of gives me time to adjust… I enter the hall with purpose, not just to hang out or to rest, I am moving towards something… Transitioning...

So having said all of this- I am in the hall… I have been for a very long time. All I know is that it must be a very long hall! :^). Keith has been in the hall longer than I have… We have recently become very discouraged and disappointed that we are still in the hall. Perhaps that’s why I have neglected this blog … It seems there have been no great revelations to share from this hall…nothing much to see, nothing much to report… Discouragment often hangs out in this hall... Who wants to hear about that? Confusion also.... I have wondered at times if the enemy was in this whole hall business. Perhaps he even built the hall! He certainly seems to prolong it at times… Although I know that everything in our lives is Father-filtered, our enemy has certainly whispered in our ears that this hall will go on forever… We might as well SETTLE down here, lie down, give up and stop moving… But NO! The hall is meant for movement. You must not stop moving in the hall. That's what it's made for! And the hall eventually does lead to some place else, IF we don’t stop….We are NOT meant to be here forever….But at times we MUST be...

However, there is something very good about this hall after all…. He is here. There are fewer distractions in the hall. It is here that the Lord teaches TRUST. He whispers to those of us in the hall, ”Will you trust Me?” When we don’t see the end, yet we wouldn’t ever want to go back to where we were before- will we still trust Him? Is He trustworthy? Now to this I have a definitive, non-muddled answer- YES! Absolutely, completely, totally- YES! We may not know where this hall is leading us, but we do know Who is with us, Who loves us, Who won’t disappoint us and Who has a great plan for our lives-beyond the hall and even IN the hall! A better plan than we could ever ask for or imagine. He is the Master-builder of this house. His ways are infinitely higher than ours. And He is our Hope! I want to finish this post today with the words from a song that I wrote several years ago when I was in another darker “hall”. Sometimes, in the hall, all we can know is that He is good. He is true….but friend- that is enough! God bless!

“When my dreams are passing by,
And disappointment steals my song
I don’t understand Your ways
And I doubt all that I’ve known
Just one thing, I know to be true… Is You

When my plans have come to nothing.
Hope deferred it clouds my view
When I don’t feel so special
And my thoughts become confused
Just one thing I know to be true…. Is You

You are true, You are true. And my hope is in You
You are righteous, You are just. In Your word will I trust
For Your love won’t let go. And that’s all I need to know.
You are true… Lord… You are true.

Only You can satisfy, in this world of constant change
Seasons come and go but I
Know Your word remains the same
Just one thing I know to be true… Is You

You are true, You are true. And my hope is in You
You are righteous, You are just. In Your word will I trust
For Your love won’t let go. And that’s all I need to know.
You are true… Lord… You are true.”

Faith: On a tightrope with God!

I wanted to share something I read recently in LIFE BENEATH THE SURFACE by Mike Pilavachi... It's a simple illustration but it really spoke volumes to me about faith. (I do good with simple!) I hope it will bless, convict and inspire all who read it as it did me.

"Blondin, the famous French tightrope walker, strung a cable across the Niagara Falls. There's a huge crowd watching. And as they watch, he walks across and all the way back like he was out for a Sunday stroll. The crowd goes wild.

He says to them, "Do you believe that I could walk across to the other side with this wheelbarrow? And they all cheer and scream and say, 'Yeah! We believe that you can walk across there with the wheelbarrow.' No problem. They've seen him walk it easily. It shouldn't be too much harder. They believed he could do it.

Blondin then says, 'Okay, you believe I can do it. You've seen me walk across there. Who's going to get in the wheelbarrow and come with me? And there was a deathly hush.

See, it's a different thing altogether isn't it? You can believe that he can do it. But when it comes to believe in him, there's an element of personal commitment being called for...

Face it , most of us wouldn't trust Blondin to give us a ride over Niagara Falls, and similarly most of us get a little shy when we feel one of those 'divine opportunities' coming our way. Our reaction is nothing new: When writing to the Early Church, James pointed out, 'You believe that there is one God. Good! even the demons believe that and shudder.' There's a long line of people who 'believe in God,' but the one that really matters is the line marked"... And Are Prepared to Do Something About It.'

The praise of the spectators 160 feet below meant nothing to Blondin when they refused to trust him. The praise of God is worthless if we are not prepared to hop into His wheelbarrow...

Will we trust Him? Do we truly believe He is able to get us to the other side? More thoughts on faith later...

Blessings! KHJ

Meet Me In St. Louis!

I want to thank ya'll for praying and to give you all an update on the progress of the CD. Well, first of all, thank you so much for praying for my throat. The day we flew out, my throat hurt so bad to talk or to swallow. I was very concerned. But I had a strange peace and a determination to sing anyway- the enemy was not going to shut me up! Kent Henry met us at the airport and we were thinking we'd check into our hotel and relax (I'd been up since 4:00). Well, that was not to be! He took us straight to the studio to begin recording right away. It was an interesting process to watch. Everything is done on a computer program. Cool stuff. Stacey was the first in "the booth". After Stacey sang her song, he took us to dinner and then as we were being dropped off at the hotel (we were so glad to see that hotel- we were exhausted!) he said, "Kayla, you and Stephanie are coming back to the studio with me." Seriously? Well, we went. I grabbed my teabags and threw on a sweatshirt (it was FREEZING!) and off we went. Steph went first since I was busy making tea and it turned out that it was so late by the time he finished with Steph (after 11:00) it was time to go to the hotel. But the next day I was put in the booth (fun!) and my voice was FINE! I was so thankful. It would NOT have been fine had I sung Thursday night when I was scheduled. Whew! Thank You Lord! My voice was totally strong and clear the entire time. I did notice on the plane ride home that it began hurting again! haha. I didn't care at that point!

We had a blast! So much fun and laughter. We went to Destiny Church which is Kent's church (he's one of the worship leaders and his son-in-law Jim Stern is pastor) on Saturday night. What a great church! Dynamic worship and a very friendly congregation. (We especially enjoyed the Starbucks coffee bar in the foyer! ;^).

Kent did amazing things with our songs. Those of you who were at the live recording will be surprised when you hear it. He got creative with our songs (This was the source of much of our amusement! Kent's a character to say the least! And some of the things he comes up with... Mercy!) He made a lot of changes. Although we were usually a bit skeptical at first, once we heard it, we were blown away! He truly knows what he's doing! We all came back encouraged and blessed. My son Max was a particular revelation. My goodness. He was so at home in the studio. There was hardly a dry eye in the studio when he did a duet with Mary on "Yearn". Their vocals together were unbelievable! Kent has now claimed Max for his Revolution School :^)! Yes, Mom was proud!

A perfect end to an exciting weekend--On our way home, in the St. Louis airport, as we were in a gift shop buying souvenirs, we saw Joni Eareckson Tada! (For those of you of my generation, you will know who she is! If not visit her website at
http://www.joniandfriends.org/.) She was very gracious and let us take a picture with her. She asked what type of music we sang and we told her worship music. She said she'd been singing "In Christ Alone" and wondered if we'd sing it with her. So right there in the St. Louis airport we sang "In Christ Alone". It was beautiful, if I do say so myself :^). What a blessing and honor to meet her! How kind and thoughtful of the Lord to do this for us! We were all thrilled!

In closing--Please continue to pray for this project to it's completion. There's so much more to making a CD than I ever realized. You'd think that it'd be done right? Wrong! There's still a lot of work to be done, on the technical side and still some creative decisions to be made. There's also some doubt that it will be finished before Christmas. Please pray for Kent. He's been such a tremendous blessing to give us this opportunity. Pray that he'll be led by the Spirit as he completes this CD for us, and that (if it's God's will) it will be ready by Christmas. We just want this CD to fulfill the Lord's purpose, not ours. We want people to be touched by the presence of God as they hear it. That is our desire. Thanks to you all for your prayers. And we ask that you continue to pray for us.

I am including some photos of our time in St. Louis. First one is me and Kent listening to one of my songs after I'd been "in the booth". Second is Max "in the booth". Third is us with Joni Eareckson Tada in the airport!

God bless. Kayla

Will We Trust Him?

Kind of puts things in perspective doesn't it? How unbelievably, incredibly, indescribly GREAT is our God! And how amazingly GREAT is His love for us! So why won't we trust Him? Why do we fret and worry and rely on our puny little created selves when we have the Creator as our Father! Do we think He is unable? Or do we think He is unwilling? He is neither. David said in Psalms 62-
"11 One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that You, O God, are strong,
12 and that You, O Lord, are loving. Surely You will reward each person according to what he has done."
We cannot worry and trust at the same time!
Father, we choose to trust in You God. We choose to not rely on man or ourselves or our circumstances. We choose to not worry. We will trust in You. You are awesome and frightening, yet You are loving and good. And we are Yours! Yippee!
Be blessed! Kayla

Okay....Who Brought The Cat ????

I had to post this. It cracked me up...! KHJ